Most Generic RWBY story on Earth in the known galaxy in the universe
by Writen
Summary: THIS IS CANCER. GO AWAY. YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE. THIS FANFICTION IS NOT AT ALL BASED ON MY BIASED OPINIONS OF THE RWBY FANDOM. THIS DOES NOT HAVE GENERIC OC'S. IT DOES NOT CONTAIN JAUNE/OC BASED HAREMS EITHER. JUST DON'T READ THIS. Also Please support me on Patreon mate I need the dosh for mah bleach investment. BLEHH GO AWAY YOU BLOCK OF CHEESY CYKA BLYAT.
1. SHUDU DERPFLAME

So once upon a **FUCKING** time there was this guy named Shadow Darkflame or something. Let's be honest here, no one gives a tit shit what his name is unless you ripped it off from some other fanfiction.

Anyways this edgy pleeb was chilling out smoking da dope in a mountain somewhere.

It's been three sentences and I already regret my life choices.

So multiple grimm dragons pop out of who the hell knows where and start wreckin the mountain the Darkflame was meditating on.

And then the bloke just sneezed and he fucked up every single grimm in a 100 lightyear radius worse than 90's gangstas.

Out of nowhere team Rugby *cough* I mean team RWBY pop their heads out of the rubble like it's the three god damn stooges or something.

"WOW" They all said in unison, including Zwei because the little fucker can speak English now.

"Who are you?" Ruby asked.

 **"My entire family was killed in front of me when I was 4 years old."** Darkflame replied in a angsty voice that was deeper than the fucking Mariana trench.

"WOW. SO SUGOI. SENPAI IS SO SMEXXXXXXY" They all fangirled. Except Zwei because he's a male. Wait...is Zwei male or female?

"ZWEI IS FEMALE." A random triggered feminist shrieks in unkempt rage.

Naw Zwei's totally a dude. Doesn't matter, he stilled fangirled over Darkflame's angst.

So anyways this BOOSTED ANIMAL rips off his copyrighted under armour skintight shirt and reveals that he had a fucking 20-pack on his abs cause angst.

Immeadiatly after he pulls out a pistol.

That shifts into an assault rifle.

That shifts into a shotgun.

That shifts into a helicopter.

That shifts into Christopher Gray's wang.

That shifts into Christopher Gray's wang with a gun inside it.

That shifts into a Scythe 6 times the size of Ruby's scythe

That shifts into the a colossal scythe that somehow covers the bounds of the known universe that pierces Remnant's atmosphere.

Now normally since it pierces the atmosphere it would destroy it killing everyone on Remnant.

So why hasn't it killed everyone yet except our Smexy and completely unoriginal *cough* I mean carefully made OC?

Well it actually has. Everyone died because fuck you.

Now go read a story that doesn't give someone a fucking aneurysm everytime they read it.


	2. RWBY WRITING NIGHT

Imagine your at your house along with any number of your friends, and they all watch and love RWBY, and that you are all trying to come up with ideas for a RWBY fanfiction.

"Let's make a story that focuses solely on WhiteRose and/or BumbleBee and literally nothing else!" Says one of your colleagues excitedly.

"Nah! We should make Jaune the focus of the story. Let's give him a cliche tragic backstory about how his parents died or some shit. Then we'll see him go through some really angsty and edgy phases of his life, before he ends up becoming the most OP motherfucker on the planet!" Shouts one of your more talkative peers.

"Yeah! We should do that! But with an OC with a name that is totally original and NOT so cliche that it gives people FUCKING tuberculosis when they see it!" Adds a third associate.

Now is your time, you have come up with an idea in your head. An idea so out-of-bounds, so insane, that it will blow everyone's god damn mind. You begin.

"Guys! What if we make an actual original plot that doesn't include any of that! If we try then maybe it'll become really popular."

In response to this, every single one of your colleagues gets triggered, and I'm not talking about regular triggered either, I'm talking irrational fucking feminist kind of _**TRIGGERED.**_

Immediately, they rush at you from all sides. Before you can react, they all have a grasp on different parts of your body. Like a team of lions hunting a water buffalo, they used their combined strength to dispatch of you.

Their union of physical strength now established, they now lift your helpless body up, and proceed to throw it out of your 4 story house. When you make contact with the ground, a shard of glass that separated from the window when it shattered, goes through your cranium and kills you instantly.

 **The end**

 **This has been a PSA from the RWBY fandom. The moral of the story? Always make a RWBY fanfiction based on the things your colleagues said, rather than an original idea you may actually have.**

 **If you differ from this code, the rest of the RWBY fandom will have you killed.**

 **Now piss off.**


	3. Please just end it all

Alright pussies and gentlemen. Today we're gonna be talking about ships.

Now before you star pulling out some paper towels and your off-brand skin lotion, let me inform you that the ships we're talking about are enabler (The XXX_lonely-faggot-incest-lemon-shipper_XXX version.) Also some dumb ass little dinky boat ships that no has ever heard of. Examples:

Ozpiss X Cinderp (Monochrome. Because ones good and ones evil amiright? That ship can't possibly be taken.)

Tukson X Everybody (And I mean EVERYBODY)

GlynDAHALLEUJIAH LOOK AT THOSE TITTIES X I don't fucking know mate, I didn't ship these ships. Please send me money on to support my 69 pet gerbils OK, mate?

Everybody X Everybody (A.K.A the lonely horny social outcast special recipe.)

And of course, easily the BEST and MOST APPROPRIATE and LEAST DISTURBING ship of all: ENABLER! YAAYY.

Where am I even going with this crusty ass block of words that is referred to as a "fanfiction?"

Well in summary, Enabler is a Yang X Ruby ship, which means that no matter what it's pretty much guaranteed to have incest.

Now you might have a conglomerate of weebs in the far corner that are like ***OH BOY. INCEST. THAT'S MY FAVORITE FLAVOR! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*,** but personally that's where I draw the line. I may be satirical unoriginal garbage, but I have some dignity left in me.

Also this fandom is like 95% lesbian ships. And I don't mean Gay and Lesbian, I mean 95% specifically lesbian. Most of the people I know who write lesbian ships aren't even lesbians, they're classified as...

Actually, you know what? I don't even know what to classify them as. Y'all fuckers can do it for me.

Anyways, moving on to the second problem *COUGH* I mean perfection with this fandom.

Jaune.

Oh Jaune. How he was supposed to start out as a lovable goofball with slow and proper character progression. That's what Jaune was built as.

Also just as a serious sidenote, I honestly think that Jaune will be killed in canon eventually. Just saying.

Anyways the problem with this masterpiece of character has two problems.

1\. OH LOOK AT ME. I HAVE ALL THESE DIFFERENT POWERS AND SEMBLANCES. WHENEVER SOMEBODY PISSES ME OFF IN THE SLIGHTEST, I PIN THEM AGAINST THE WALL WITH LIKE ZERO FUCKING EFFORT CAUSE I'M COOL LIKE THAT.

2\. Harem Jaune

 **Jaune: "U know u want it bb gril"**

 **Every female being in Beacon has a fucking triple chain orgasm and falls for Jaune.**

If this chapter triggers you, then you can fuck off you fucking feminist. No one cares you cheesy vegetable.

I'm gonna go to bed, it's like 3 in the morning and I'm still american.

Please stand in a calm and orderly line so that you can drop off your triggered flaming reviews for me to read in the morning.

Goodnight.


	4. CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS U FEGGIT

Guys seriously why are you making me write this. This really needs to stop before it gets out of hand, I'm serious this could very well offend a large sum of people on the RWBY fandom page. We should consider what we're doing-

 **SHUT**

 **THE**

 **FUCK**

 **UP**

 **YOU**

 **BOOSTED**

 **CHUFFER**

Alright you fancy chocolate chapped chaps, today we're back with another episode of... BA DA BA DA BA DA BA DA BA DA BA

 **OverPowered JAUNE**

"Hey Jaune, I was wondering if you'd want to go to the dance with me. Because ya know, wouldn't want to make an actual fanfiction by deviating from the canon plot in any way. Oh boy this fanfiction sure is creative and original-" Pyrrha asked.

"Awf course I goh two el dance wit u. Eye can spell Ewngish, yus?" Jaune accepts as he steadily shifts into the form of an unholy being that is part angel (A/N THE ANGEL HAS A REALLY COOL GLOWY WING THAT LOOKS LIKE A KNOCKOFF WING FROM THE LATER FF GAMES OR SOMETHING I DUNNO) with the other half being part demon (ALSO WITH A PITCH BLACK WING BECAUSE THATS COOL AND YOU GUYS TOTALLY GIVE A SHIT WHAT HIS WINGS LOOK LIKE AMIRIGHT. ALSO HE HAS DESE COOL HORNS NAO.)

And also part wolf faunas (SPECIFICALLY BLACK SHADOW WOLF. YEAH. DON'T ASK HOW JAUNE IS SUDDENLY A FAUNAS, JUST GO WITH IT, GOD DAMN.)

And 100% fucking overused cliche (WHAT DID U JUST SAY ABOUT MY OC *cough* I MEAN JAUNE, U LITTLE SHIT? DON'T LIEK DON'T READ.)

How the hell would I even know if I like the story if I don't read it? (SHUTUP U NIGGLET. *FLAMES THE OTHER PERSONS FANFICTION(s) AND SPAMS HIS PM BOX*)

Anyways, back to this "fanfiction"

I'm too lazy to draw tsundere moment so just imagine one in your pretty little heads.

 **NEXT THYME ON OverPowered JAUNE:**

 **Wruby: "OH NOES. TEH WHITE FENG IS ATTACKING THE DANCE HALL."**

 **OP Jaune: "I must call of a power deep within me, one that I couldn't have possibly used for any logical reason up until this specific point." Jaune reveals dramaticaly**

 **"MY GRIMM FORM, WHICH COMES FROM MULTIPLE SEMBLANCES, WHICH COMES FROM MY SEMBLANCE OF COPYING SEMBLANCES, WHICH COMES FROM ME BEING SOME SORT OF SECRET MILITARY PROJECT! ERAHHHHH" He screams as he transforms**

 **"K." Teh stupud white boi (fang) leader sez.**

 **AND THE CHAPTER ENDS HERE. JUST LIKE MY OWN LIFE WILL IN A FEW MINUTES. FUCK ALL OF YEW, I'M NOT FUNNY.**


	5. ELLO BLOIZERS NO-FUCK-ERZS HERE

**THIS TIME ON THE CHRONICLES OF SHEDOW DERPFLAME**

"I have soup-or-powers!" Shaydew declares.

*Shamwow derpflame roflstomps the entire white fang and rekts cunder and Saylum.*

"HEH HEH. U JUST GIT SARGED." Shadow says, terribly referencing one of the greatest web series ever made.

"SHUTUP UR NOT FUNNY." Screams a White Fang grunt with his final dying breath before succumbing to his wounds, courtesy of the unholy OC abomination's weapons.

 **OBLIGATORY LINEBREAK**

Ok you wolf-fauna obsessed furfags, today we're gonna be talking about OC's that are wolf faunas/part grimm.

Now before you guys say that there are a VERY SMALL number of fanfics that actually write the wolf faunas/part grimm thing well, let me declare that I acknowledge this. Some authors can actually use this prompt well in their OC's.

 **WARNING WARNING RANT MODE ENGAGED.**

 **IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS, TURN AWAY NOW.**

 **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I'M SERIOUS.**

The majority of these fanfics however...oh boy, where to begin, where. to. begin.

Part grimm OC/Jaune fanfics have been around on the RWBY fanfiction homepage for as long as I can remember. The first time I saw a part grimm OC based fanfic, I was like "Yeah, you know, seems like a good prompt for a story."

Good lord was I wrong.

The first part grimm fanfic went like most of them do nowadays. Some first-timer fanfic author writes the OC/maybe Jaune showing up at Dust til Dawn. ( ** _LAZY WRITING)_** And Ruby Rose, Torchwick, and his goons show up at the same time. Then the OC just seal-clubs all of Torchwicks men by himself.

Keep copy-pasting the events of episode one for a while, and eventually you have both the OC and Ruby ending up at the interrogation room.

 **OK GUYS I GOT TIRED OF RANTING SO YOU CAN CONTINUE READING THE CHRONICLES OF SHADAMN DICKFLAME**

"Oh noes! I am have been defeated! Instead of immediately killing me like any sane bad guy would do in this situation, my opponent will run away for whatever reason. Meanwhile, I'll only pass out and almost instantly recover from my wounds instead of dying from them like I should! This is the worst day ever! DX"

 **END OF CHEWPTER**

 **A/N: I HAVE A RASH ON MY DICK AND I'M SLOWLY LOSING MY SANITY. THAT IS ALL. HAVE A GOOD DAY.**


	6. BUHUHUZANGUHUHUA

Alright class, today we'll be going over the most over-fucking-used faunas in the entire racial species of hooman beings.

The wolf-faunas

Now before you angry little dick-sponges start pulling out your cliche twin katanas n' shit, let me remind you that the wolf faunas **IS NOT THE ONLY ANIMAL IN THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN ANIMAL KINGDOM**

 **OK?**

 **THANK YOU**

Oh and also please check out the other story I'm working on at the moment "A Soldier No Longer" because ya know, I'm a fucking sellout, you guys.

Now on to my second point, text blocks.

I find this to be common mistake under first-timer writers. So to them I say.

Put some gawd dayum spacing every three or four sentences. Because right now, your text blocks are bigger than the shits I take after I eat the four dollar family meal at Taco Casa.

Ok guys, chapters over, you can go now.


	7. DIE TO DEATH YOU HECKING CUCK

Hey guys! Remember when most OC's on this site weren't obviously based off of the author's real life personality and emotions? Remember the days when there weren't four man teams of OC's, or an OC joining team RWBY to make a five man team with a ridiculously poor explanation as to why?

Remember those good old days?

Yeah, me neither.

So instead we're gonna have some more

OVERPOWERED OC ONESHOT

As Shadow darkflame walked into Ozpin's, he took note of the powerful aura surrounding the headmaster of Beacon. Ozpin was extremely powerful, and Shadow knew that. However, thanks to his (CLICHÉ AS HELL, SERIOUSLY WHY DO PEOPLE STILL USE IT AS A PLOT DEVICE? IT SUCKS) grimm powers, and twin katanas, Shadow knew he could beat anyone in this school, Ozpin included.

You see, when Shadow was but a young wolf faunas (FUCKING FURRIES. HAH.) His parents, who were COINCIDENTALLY huntsmen taught him how to jump around and fight like some sort of parkour expert on crack I dunno.

Oh, also he knew Ruby, Blake, Weiss, and Yang since he they were all kids. I will now insert some bullshit-ass reason as to why he knew all of them at the same time since childhood. *Please insert bullshit-ass reason here.*

Anyways, the grimm/White Fang attacked and killed his parents and his whole village blah blah blah who the fuck cares. AND THEN

He became a White Fang assassin (Because that's also not cliché as fuck) and throughout years of eliminating targets, became ridiculously overpowered to the point that any sane individual would have stopped reading by now.

So anyways, Shadow kills Salem and Cinder using those twin katanas of his, kills every single grimm on remnant single-handedly, goes through and edgy phase in which he himself becomes a grimm or something I dunno who cares, claims victory, bangs all of team RWBY, and then disappears into the night like a fuccboi, never to be seen again.

The end.

AN: I have no raisin to live anymore, time to go back to ASNL.


	8. AHHHHI'MGOINGTOKILLMYSELF

"Hey Siri, search for original joke."

 _"One results found."_

"Oh, well I guess I can still make jokes about OC's being the literal NSA."

Why the actual fuck do OC's seem to know everything that gonna happen like 4 months in advance?

Oh look at me, I know the entirety of Cinder's plan, I know that Blake is a faunas who used to work for the White Fang, I also know the meaning behind Ruby's silver eyes and the Ozluminati, and I know that Salem exists and that the maidens exist. But what am i gonna do about all this knowledge that I have acquired for...reasons?

Im gon go to mofkin highschoo' boi.

Oh also to those of you out there who post bios in the first chapter. This is , not BuildAnOC. If you really want us to know about your OC, reveal it later in the story, not all at once.

And OC appearences. Oh laddy.

Here I use my OC shadow dickflame to describe his appearence.

He is wearing a black shirt with some logos on it and a tag on the back, the t-shirt is a dark obsidian black His combat pants are also black and they have like 50 pockets on them or something. He's wearing a grey fedora with a leather strap wrapped around the top of the brim. His shoes are white sports shoes sponsered by Lebron or some other dead meme. On his arms are tattos of various legendary grimm that he's killed. His eyes are either red or black because he's probably a grimm faunas.

His weapon cosists of some sort of shotgun mixed in with a katana, AKA a heretic sword. Deus vult. And uh some other stuff explaining his backstory and what he looks like blah blah blah-

And it's at this point that you probably stopped reading and decided to move on with the story, because honestly? No one's gonna read that whole fucking paragraph describing the OC's appearance. If you make a bio for you character, Please just give a basic appearance, please. Thank-fucking-you.

Anyways I gotta go to spanish class and take midsemster test that I will inevitably fail. Seeya later fuckers.


End file.
